So I drove three hours to go to a birthday party about hell (Monthly update #11)

Also: The Bear; why social media (still) sucks

Should have gotten a selfie or something. Oh well. I hate photography.

“So, wait, what is this thing?” my wife said, trying very hard, as always, to understand what I was going on about.

“So, there’s this guy who likes my writing.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And he invited me to his birthday party.”

“Which is in—”

“Rochester, Minnesota. It’s only three hours away.”

“And the party is…what?”

“I think he just invited a bunch of people to his house to eat twice-baked potatoes and talk about whether hell exists.”

[confused wife noises]

I admit it the idea was a little crazy when I first heard it. Brandon Hendrickson—just a guy who found me on Substack and likes my writing (he also writes his own Substack called The Lost Tools of Learning, which you should check out if you’re interested in educational theory)—saw the piece I published on hell last week and said, “Hey, I should invite Luke to my party where we’ll be discussing hell!”

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that, if you want to feel vaguely like a celebrity for a couple hours, you never skip the parties thrown by your fans. And since I only have half a dozen fans, I have to seize the opportunities I get.

The verdict? I had a really great time. It wasn’t quite on the level of some of the Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties I attended as a five-year-old, but I’d never been to a gathering of so many thoughtful adults (of many faiths and no faith at all) talking seriously and amicably about religion and philosophy. I don’t know if we figured anything out (hell either exists or does not exist, and either is just or is not just—I think that’s where we landed), but I met a lot of cool people and ate some good food. 10/10, would do again.

So anyway, I’m available for parties, and yes, I do balloon animals. 🕹🌙🧸

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Poll of the moment

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Two years ago: 6 reasons I probably won’t be back on social media

Midway through 2022, I realized that social media had died for me.

I wasn’t “fasting” from it, or trying to use it less, or even attempting to build some sort of movement against it; I was just bored of it. It wasn’t fun anymore. It wasn’t enhancing my life in any way. It wasn’t keeping me meaningfully connected to people I cared about (which, as a reminder, was how it had been sold to us in the first place). It was just wasting my time, making me miserable, and generally making the world a worse place to live. So I logged out and never scrolled the feeds again.

And it turns out that “Social media sucks, actually” is a very popular sentiment to express, especially here on Substack, so I ended up writing a trilogy of essays on that topic here. This one was the second of the three, and for some reason, it was the least-read of them? I dunno, maybe the “snarky listicle” format was already played-out, or something. But I think it’s pretty good, so give it some love:

I do still occasionally load up Facebook and Twitter in the browser on my computer or tablet, just to make sure no one’s trying to use them to relay vital information to me. And I’m not saying I’ll never be back. But every time I log in, it’s a reminder I don’t really want to be there.

Because, see… (Read more here!) 🕹🌙🧸

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⬅️ In case you missed it: Losing weight isn’t easy, but it is simple

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Stuff I’ve been enjoying lately

I’m late to the party (so to speak) on The Bear—especially since it’s in its third season and I’m just now finishing its second—but this FX (Hulu? “FX on Hulu,” whatever that is?) series is a ton of fun. I don’t know if there’s a whole lot to be said about it, beyond the fact that the premise pretty much sells itself (“Michelin-starred chef attempts to turn his dead-by-suicide brother’s hole-in-the-wall Italian beef joint into a fine-dining restaurant”) and the cast bounces off one another with an absolutely addictive energy.

I dunno if it’s brilliant, and I can already hear my mom complaining about all the swears (this is just how people in food service talk, Mom), but I’m really digging the show. These are characters that will worm their way into your heart and make you root for them, often against your better judgment. It’s also good to see that goofy-looking guys with untamable curly manes (see: Bear star Jeremy Allen White; Dune star Timothy Chalamet; me) are back in style. My time has come! 🕹🌙🧸

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Reminder: By popular demand, I’ve debuted a new monthly feature, Ask a church receptionist, where I (a real, honest-to-God church receptionist who literally wrote the book on the Bible) answer all the questions you were afraid to ask about the Bible, Christianity, and everything else. Send any and all questions to luke.t.harrington@gmail.com, or just click the button below:

Be sure to tell me whether you want me to use your real name, a pseudonym, or whatever else.

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Favorite comment of the month

Lifting is so addictive. Once you see those first new muscles pop, it's like a switch goes off. I'm almost done with my mandatory post-surgery “no lifting” rule and can’t wait to go back to the gym. I never thought I’d hear myself say that, lol. But now I’m also studying to be a personal trainer, nutrition coach, and group fitness instructor to add to my yoga teaching certification. Life is weird, man! Congrats on the ongoing weight loss and muscle growth!

PS my best friend is a fat guy and fully agrees with you. He complains about the "HAES" mentality all the time, because he knows better, because he's been 300lbs+. —Lirpa Strike 🕹🌙🧸

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You should read a book

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