Everything I watched in 2024, ranked (definitively)

Popcorn is the One True Movie Snack, fight me

Feb 02, 2025

Trump’s back in office, so the internet just got a thousand times more annoying. And I was thinking about writing something about politics, because that’s what gets clicks, but y’know what? I’d rather keep this a mostly-positive space. And you guys seem to like these year-end everything-I-[read/watched] posts, so I’m happy to keep slinging them.

So here’s a positive post for the new year! Until you get past the halfway point, and then it gets a little negative, I guess. Everything I watched in 2024, ranked best-to-worst; anything I didn’t bother finishing is asterisk*d.

List starts after the break:

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Stuff I loved:

1. Silence (2016, dir. Martin Scorsese)

Based on the 1966 novel by Shūsaku Endō, Silence tells the story of Portuguese missionaries facing persecution in seventeenth-century Japan. I didn’t love the novel when I read it, but something about Scorsese’s direction made it click for me (the way he turns the Japanese countryside into a character certainly doesn’t hurt). Watched it toward the beginning of Lent, and it haunted me all season long.

(Wrote more here.)

2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994, dir. Frank Darabont)

Stephen King’s prison drama about the power of friendship. Prison stories usually aren’t my thing, but this one left me a really impressed—I assume mainly because of Morgan Freeman’s unforgettable performance.

3. Do the Right Thing (1989, dir. Spike Lee)

Drama about a New York City race riot—but also so much more than that. Lee takes his time here, letting the characters develop naturally, till you feel like this Brooklyn neighborhood is your neighborhood—and when the riot starts, you feel why.

(Wrote more here.)

4. Aliens (1986, dir. James Cameron)

In space, no one can hear you make sequels. Review over, man! Review over!

5. Futurama (season 9) (2024, cr. Matt Groening)

This one didn’t stick with me as much as last year’s season, but I’m so glad to have this series back. The one about the buggalo (I won’t spoil it) was weird and smart enough to justify this season’s existence.

6. Disturbia (2007, dir. D. J. Caruso)

Never gave this one a chance back when it was in theaters (around the time I was finishing college), mainly because of its painfully stupid title (it’s something disturbing, happening in suburbia!!! do you get it???), but when I finally got around to it this year, I was pretty impressed by how taut of a thriller it was. A pastiche of Rear Window, it features a young and mostly-not-crazy Shia LaBeouf convinced his next-door neighbor is a serial killer. Turns out (surprise!) he is.

7. Spaceman (2024, dir. Johan Renck)

Adam Sandler plays a Czech cosmonaut who works out his Freudian hangups with the help of a mysterious spider alien thing. This one’s not for everyone, but those who are patient and enjoy arthouse stuff or slow sci-fi will appreciate it.

(Wrote more here and here.)

8. Drive My Car (2021, dir. Ryūsuke Hamaguchi)

And hey, if you like stories about lonely dudes dealing with wifey issues, have I got a proposition for you. This tale of a widowed play director learning to cope with his deceased wife’s infidelity won a bunch of awards three years ago, and it deserved all of them. What a heartbreaking film.

9. Anything Goes (2021, dir. Ross MacGibbon and Kathleen Marshall)

This filmed West End production of Cole Porter’s classic 1930s musical has lived rent-free in my head since I watched it for one reason: Sutton Foster. I hadn’t seen her perform before, but man the woman knows how to set a stage on fire. It’s available to stream pretty much everywhere; check it out if you haven’t.

10. American Fiction (2023, dir. Cord Jefferson)

Frustrated black writer takes his rage out on the lit world by penning a satire of “ghetto” memoirs, only to see it become a huge hit. It’s the age-old paradox: if you want to be a “thought leader,” you have to give the masses what they want. I saw this one criticized for giving its “villain” character (a woman who writes ghetto stuff more seriously, and arguably more cynically) a voice, but for me, that was what pushed it over the top—isn’t the whole point of this stuff to not treat people as cartoons?

11. Wonka (2023, dir. Paul King)

Prequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in which the candy man himself is just a hard-scrabble guy trying to bring joy to the streets of London, one confection at a time. This movie had no right to be any good at all, so it’s a straight-up miracle that it’s as good as it is. The songs are charming, the visual design is spectacular, and Timothée Chalamet of Dune fame shines in the title role.

(Wrote more here and here.)

12. The Green Mile (1999, dir. Frank Darabont)

That other Stephen King prison drama adapted to film by Frank Darabont—this time with a supernatural twist. Compared to Shawshank, I found this a bit overlong and self-important—but only a bit. They’re both great flicks.

13. Grave of the Fireflies (1988, dir. Isao Takahata)

The story of an orphaned boy trying to keep his sister alive during World War II. Absolutely beautiful. Absolutely devastating.

14. Eraserhead (1977, dir. David Lynch)

Surreal cult horror classic in which a man has to raise his deformed child in a postapocalyptic hellscape. As a former stay-at-home dad, I can confirm that this one is basically a documentary.

15. On a Clear Day You Can See Forever (1970, dir. Vincente Minnelli)

Barbara Streisand has been a punchline since before I was born, so imagine my surprise when I watched this movie and realized that she was, in fact, incredibly talented. The plot of On a Clear Day (something-something-clairvoyance, something-something-reincarnation) is, of course, very stupid, but her performance had me spellbound.

16. Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003, dir. Quentin Tarantino)

Revenge fantasies aren’t typically my thing, so I put off watching this one for twenty years. When I finally got around to it, I was surprised by how entertaining I found it. I still haven’t gotten around to watching Vol. 2, though, so you can make of that what you will.

17. Hold Your Breath (2024, dir. Karrie Crouse and Will Joines)

Supernatural horror flick set in the Oklahoma Dust Bowl. Great idea for a movie, perfectly atmospheric execution, but it lost me a bit in the second half.

18. One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975, dir. Miloš Forman)

Jack Nicholson Jack-Nicholsons his way right into a lobotomy. We all know this movie, but I was very surprised to see a dock on coastal Oregon that I’ve visited make a cameo.

19. Central Park (complete series) (2020–22, cr. Josh Gad, Loren Bouchard, and Nora Smith)

Animated musical sitcom in which the caretaker of Manhattan’s titular park, along with his family, fight an elderly billionaire determined to turn the green space into a shopping center. I love this series—there’s an absolutely infectious joy to everything about it.

20. Mission Hill (complete series) (1999–2000, cr. Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein)

Short-lived animated sitcom in which a vaguely autistic teen boy goes to live in the big city with his extremely-Gen-X-burnout older brother. This one never got the chance it deserved; I found myself wanting to hang out with these characters more and more as I made my way through the handful of episodes. ’Twas not to be.

21. Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964, dir. Stanley Kubrick)

Darker version of The Mouse That Roared, or something.

Stuff I liked:

22. The Prestige (2006, dir. Christopher Nolan)

My most controversial opinion is that Christopher Nolan is overrated (I sincerely believe that guy’s movies are made for dumb people who want to feel smart, which absolutely could just be jealousy on my part), so it took me a while to get around to this one. It was fine. Hard to get through, mainly because the Nolan fanboys seem to overlap one-for-one with Nikola Tesla fanboys.

23. Funny Girl (1968, dir. William Wyler)

Musical biopic of vaudeville star Fanny Brice starring mah gurl Babs Streisand. Didn’t blow me away quite as much as On a Clear Day, but it was a fascinating look into the golden age of showbiz.

24. 30 Rock (seasons 1–2) (2006–08, cr. Tina Fey)

Put off watching this one for a long time, mainly because I can’t stand Alec Baldwin, I guess? I dunno, it was funny, most of the time, I think. I know people are obsessed with this show, but it might be that you had to be there in the Bush era to really appreciate it.

25. Late Night with the Devil (2024, dir. Colin and Cameron Cairnes)

A demon-possessed girl takes over a late-night talk show. This one was a lot of fun, but it’s a shame that so many found-footage movies feel the need to break the found-footage conceit to build things to a climax. Would have been a lot more satisfying if they’d stuck with the idea all the way to the end.

26. Baby Reindeer (complete series) (2024, cr. Richard Gadd)

Autobiographical miniseries in which an aspiring comedian recounts his experiences of being stalked and sexually abused. It’s been interesting (and/or annoying and/or predictable) watching the cultural conversation turn on this one: first it was a great show about an Important™️ topic, but then it was Problematic™️ for acknowledging that some stalkers are female and overweight. You’d think that second view would fall into the verboten category of “victim-blaming,” but apparently not!

27. A Few Good Men (1992, dir. Rob Reiner)

You want the review? You want the review? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE REVIEW.

28. Gattaca (1997, dir. Andrew Niccol)

Sci-fi drama about the coming eugenic dystopia. I wanna be a genetically engineered astronaut when I grow up!

29. I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016, dir. Osgood Perkins)

Atmospheric ghost story. Had me for the first 75%, then kinda lost me.

30. Malcolm X (1992, dir. Spike Lee)

Biopic of the controversial civil rights leader, starring Denzel Washington in a role he’ll likely never top. I’m far from an X-pert (see what I did there?), so I learned a lot here.

31. MoviePass, MovieCrash (2024, dir. Muta’Ali)

Remember MoviePass? That service that promised unlimited movie tickets for like ten bucks a month, which seemed too good to be true, and absolutely was? It’s wild it ever existed—but the story behind it is far wilder.

32. Unfrosted (2024, dir. Jerry Seinfeld)

The story of the invention of the Pop-Tart, sans any commitment to historical accuracy. I don’t think this is a great movie, exactly, but I’m pretty sure it’s the closest any of us will ever get to seeing what it looks like to live inside Jerry Seinfeld’s brain. Seinfeld and I have similar preoccupations with the absurdities inherent to junk food, so I dug it.

33. Come from Away (2021, dir. Christopher Ashley)

When the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, happened, countless planes were forced to land immediately. Thirty-eight of them, carrying thousands of passengers, landed on a tiny Newfoundland island, and countless lives were changed. In 2017, a Broadway musical was produced about it, and four years later, this excellent filmed version hit AppleTV+.

34. Election (1999, dir. Alexander Payne)

Political satire set at a high school. It was fun, but, as with the average Payne film, I’m guessing it would take a second viewing to fully appreciate.

35. Mean Girls (2024, dir. Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez, Jr.)

The musical remake we’ve all (?) been asking for (?)! This one seemed pretty controversial, but I dunno, I dug it. Visually inventive and full of catchy tunes.

(Wrote more here and here.)

36. The Invisible Man (2020, dir. Leigh Whannell)

Bearing only a passing resemblance to either the original H. G. Wells story or the classic Universal Studios adaptation, this refugee from the aborted “Universal Dark Universe” project proves to be far smarter and scarier than it has any right to be. An Invisible Man for the #MeToo era, this one tells the tale of a beleaguered woman (played unforgettably by Elizabeth Moss) finally escaping out from under the thumb of her insane tech bro boyfriend. I know #MeToo politics have aged like milk for a number of reasons, but this film is still excellent.

37. The Wild Robot (2024, dir. Chris Sanders)

How in the world did DreamWorks become the cutting-edge of American animation? I guess by hiring away Disney’s best directors. Directed by Chris Sanders (Lilo and Stitch, How to Train Your Dragon), The Wild Robot has more imagination in a single frame than Inside Out 2 has in an entire film—depicting its title character in a cold, hyperrealistic style and its plants and animals as a soft, impressionistic oil painting; the script foundered a little toward the end, but the film is worth seeing for the visual style alone.

38. Kitchen Nightmares (season 8) (2023, dev. Daniel Kay)

I’m not typically a big reality TV guy, but I’ve long been a fan of Gordon Ramsay and Kitchen Nightmares—possibly because I love cooking; possibly because Ramsay has an infectious passion for both food and people; possibly because I enjoy bleeped British swears. Regardless, I was thrilled to see it make a comeback, and the new season was a lot of fun. Nothing on the order of “Amy’s Baking Company,” mind you—but fun.

39. Harlan County, USA (1976, dir. Barbara Kopple)

This classic documentary on a West Virginia miner’s strike is a masterclass on why the American left is so ineffective in the year of our Lord 2025: (1) advocating for workers’ rights would require the peevish HR reps that make up the Democratic base to interact with people they find icky, and (2) the only reason these workers were able to organize is because they had a strong foundation from things the left currently hates, like family and religion. Oh well. Maybe the left will get its act together in another fifty years.

40. Wolf like Me (seasons 1–2) (2022–23, wr. Abe Forsythe)

Bizarre horror-sitcom-drama where a single father navigates the ins and outs of dating a werewolf. There are a huge number of reasons something like this shouldn’t work, but Wolf like Me mostly does—due almost entirely to the sympathetic performance of Josh Gad (probably best known as the voice of Olaf the snowman from Frozen).

41. Red One (2024, dir. Jake Kasdan)

Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans race against time to save the life of Santa. I get the impression that this was the cool movie to hate back in December, but…I dunno, I kinda dug it? I know we’ve all seen the “THIS AIN’T YOUR GRANDPAPPY’S SANTA” schtick done to death, and I know we’re all tired of watching musclebound dudes battle CGI abominations, but this take on that stuff really worked for me. There’s a deep awareness here—both of traditional lore and pop culture—and the film was just perfectly paced. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

42. Bubble Boy (2001, dir. Blair Hayes)

Yes, fine, I have a soft (very soft) spot for stupid, high-concept comedies. Sue me (please do not actually sue me). Starring Jake Gyllenhaal as a kid with no immune system who has to chase his dream girl across the country, Bubble Boy made me laugh, and cry, and not-actually-cry-because-that-would-be-weird-if-a-movie-this-dumb-made-me-cry.

43. Saw (2004, James Wan)

Yeah, I finally Saw this one (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE???). The scariest part was watching Cary Elwes try to do an American accent for ninety minutes.

44. Joker: Folie á Deux (2024, dir. Todd Phillips)

Another one I was supposed to hate, but I just couldn’t make myself hate it. I understand most of the criticism, and I don’t even disagree with a lot of it, but I genuinely thought this movie was smart and well done in its own little, audience-hating way. Could have been a hit with a more exciting script, but I had to admire it for committing to the burn-it-all-down bit.

(Full review here.)

45. Dune: Part Two (2024, dir. Denis Villeneuve)

I…won’t pretend to understand the Dune phenomenon. Hard sci-fi typically isn’t my thing, and I haven’t read any of the books, and these movies just feel super slow and empty to me. But I won’t deny that they’re beautifully made, and my wife seems to like them, so.

46. Dune: Part One (2021, dir. Denis Villeneuve)

The truth is, I watched this on Max the day that I took my wife to the sequel, so it was basically homework. And because of that, the two movies mostly blended together for me, so I couldn’t even tell you what happened in which. But I remember liking the sequel slightly better, so here we are.

47. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004, dir. Danny Leiner)

I actually had a film studies prof in college who held this up as one of the few good movies getting made in modern Hollywood. Having seen it, I can confidently say…I should ask for my tuition money back. Made me laugh a couple times, though.

48. Men (2022, dir. Alex Garland)

Widow escapes into the countryside to clear her mind…only to find herself surrounded by nothing but sinister men. Very #MeToo, and sort of makes me wonder how long we can beat the drum of the-sexes-ought-to-hate-each-other-actually before there are none of us left.

49. Wicked: Part One (2024, dir. Jon M. Chu)

The long-awaited film adaptation of the smash Broadway musical turns out to be…fine? It had its moments, but it was really unclear to me why this movie—which only covers the first act of the stage show—needed to be three hours long. Every scene overstayed its welcome, and I was extremely ready for it to be over when it finally was.

50. Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967, dir. George Roy Hill)

A nearly-lost (I had to watch it at the Internet Archive) Julie Andrews musical in which a flapper heads to New York to land a secretary job and seduce and marry her boss—until she runs afoul of Chinese sex traffickers. It’s…something…for sure, but it was pretty clear why it was never released on streaming or home video: even for the 1960s, this movie is crazy racist. Had its moments, though!

Stuff that was fine/okay/whatever:

51. Girls5eva (season 3) (2024, cr. Meredith Scardino)

Twenty years after their first and only hit, a girl group reunites to take on the world. I genuinely loved the first two seasons, which aired on Peacock a few years ago, but this third one, produced by Netflix, just didn’t have the same spark. The characters had been Flanderized, and the jokes all came off as smug and mean-spirited. Bummer.

52. The Chosen (season 1)* (2019, cr. Dallas Jenkins)

The life of Jesus, told as a ✨prestige drama✨. I know countless people, of all walks of life, who rave about this series, but it does absolutely nothing for me. I’ve tried twice to watch it now, and I always give up after a handful of episodes.

53. Kundun (1997, dir. Martin Scorsese)

Biopic of Tenzin Gyatso, the current Dalai Lama. I didn’t love it, but what blew my mind about this movie was how hard it was to find when I decided to watch it. Evidently Disney, who produced it, was so worried of offending the Chinese government that they did everything they could to make it disappear, never releasing it to streaming or home video after its limited theatrical run (fortunately there’s a 4K version uploaded to YouTube, but still).

54. Am I Racist? (2024, dir. Justin Folk)

Conservative provocateur Matt Walsh goes undercover as a ponytailed DEI consultant. There’s probably a good idea here, but I didn’t feel like the film had anything new to say, and I think we’re all a little sick of “gotcha” documentaries, aren’t we?

55. Sweet Sweetback’s Baadassss Song (1971, dir. Melvin van Peebles)

Black guy goes on the run after (justifiably) killing a cop. This one is considered the progenitor of the “blaxploitation” genre, but I’d be lying if I said my appreciation for it was anything beyond academic. The plot and the filmmaking here are both extremely barebones.

56. The Money Pit (1986, dir. Richard Benjamin)

Tom Hanks and Shelley Long buy a house that falls apart from underneath them. Hanks made a ton of great mid-budget comedies in the 1980s. This isn’t one of them.

57. It’s All True (2023, dir. Malinda)

Singer-songwriter Malinda’s visual album about “queer love.” Malinda’s made a lot of great music, but It’s All True doesn’t have much to recommend it as an album. The visual aspect doesn’t add much, either, and this film makes the absolutely bizarre decision to save the title song—the album’s one real bright spot—for the end credits.

58. 5 Centimeters per Second (2007, dir. Makoto Shinkai)

A triptych of romantic moments from the life of a young man. I loved Shinkai’s 2016 film Your Name, so I really wanted to like this one. It wasn’t bad, but I found myself wishing it had tied the three stories together a little better.

59. All in the Family (seasons 1–6) (1971–76, dev. Norman Lear)

Classic tale of a racist/sexist/etc. blue-collar guy from Queens just trying to make his way in the world and not strangle his obnoxiously overeducated son-in-law. I obviously like this one enough to keep coming back to it, but it’s kind of a mixed bag. You can’t churn out twenty-some episodes a year without some being stinkers.

60. Beau Is Afraid (2023, Ari Aster)

What if the Coen Brothers and Wes Anderson got stoned, read way too much Freud, and then tried to make a horror movie? It probably wouldn’t be very good.

61. Catherine Cohen: The Twist?…She’s Gorgeous (2022, dir. Steven Brill)

Comedian Catherine Cohen caught my eye with an appearance on Girls5eva, so I felt like a had to check out her standup. It’s…not great? She sings a lot, and she’s got a decent voice, but I don’t think she made me laugh once.

62. The Bear (seasons 1–3)* (2022–24, cr. Christopher Storer)

So…wow. I previously recommended The Bear here, after I finished season two, but I don’t think a series has ever fallen off so hard for me. The story of a guy turning a greasy spoon into a fine dining establishment was an inherently interesting one, but that was accomplished by the end of season two, and then it was clear no one had a clue where to take the show next. After three straight episodes that were just people screaming at each other about nothing in a kitchen, I gave up.

63. Tales from the Crypt (season 1) (1989, cr. William Gaines and Steven Dodd)

The classic horror series. It was fine? Some episodes were better than others?

64. It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023, dir. Tyler MacIntyre)

It’s a Wonderful Life, as a slasher flick. Didn’t make a lot of sense, and Justin Long was basically wasted as the villain, but I remember the ending making me smile.

65. It Ends with Us (2024, dir. Justin Baldoni)

Weepie about abusive relationships. I guess there’s some sort of controversy between director-star Baldoni and producer-star Blake Lively right now, but I don’t particularly care, since the movie didn’t really work for me. The whole abuse angle—y’know, what the movie was supposed to be about—just seemed to come out of nowhere in the third act.

66. Extraordinary (season 1) (2023, cr. Emma Moran)

What if everyone in the world had superpowers—except one person? It’s an intriguing concept, but I felt like the show beat around the bush far too often, reaching for lazy sex jokes instead of exploring its central conceit to its full potential. Probably won’t ever watch season two.

67. Migration (2023, dir. Benjamin Renner)

A family of ducks who have never migrated attempt a daring trek from New England to Jamaica. Found this one charming for the first half, but then it lazily went for the big, explosive climax, and it felt sort of unearned.

Stuff I didn’t like:

68. Escape from Tomorrow* (2013, dir. Randy Moore)

Bizarre horror film shot “guerilla-style” at Disney World, sans Disney’s permission. It’s fascinating it exists, but it does not work as a movie at all—nonsensical script, terrible acting, ugly cinematography. Gave up an hour in, at which point I still had no idea what the story was supposed to be.

69. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (season 1)* (2012–13, cr. Hirohiko Araki)

I know a lot of smart people who like this show, so I thought I would like it as well, but…IT WAS I, DIO!

70. Killers of the Flower Moon* (2023, dir. Martin Scorsese)

Man, I run hot and cold with Scorsese. Either the guy transfixes me, or I just flat-out can’t stand the movie. Guess which this one was!

71. Alone (season 10)* (2023, ed. prod. Russ McCarroll et. al.)

Every time I heard someone mention Alone, I thought it sounded like something I’d appreciate—what if there was a survival reality show where survival skills actually mattered? But I just couldn’t get into it. I dunno why.

72. Burnt Offerings (1976, dir. Dan Curtis)

Seventies haunted house movie. I’ve watched quite a few of those in the last couple of years, and they’re all pretty bad. I could not tell you the plot of this movie, and I literally just read the summary on Wikipedia a second ago.

73. The Great: An Occasionally True Story (seasons 1–2) (2021, cr. Tony McNamara)

The story of Catherine the Great, told with zero regard for historical accuracy. Season one was fun, since it told the story of Catherine’s usurpation of the throne, but from there the show sort of lost its way. The scripts settled for vulgarity over satire far too frequently.

74. Spartacus* (1960, dir. Stanley Kubrick)

Yeah, I know this is considered one of the greatest films of all time, by one of the greatest filmmakers of all time—whatever. The hour I made it through didn’t seem to have any of Kubrick’s visual inventiveness or storytelling efficiency. When does this movie get good?

75. Leo (2023, dir. Robert Marianetti, Robert Smigel, and David Wachtenheim)

Adam Sandler stars in an animated film about a singing tuatara that I remember thinking was surprisingly good for a Netflix / Happy Madison production. Maybe it doesn’t deserve to be this low on the list, but I dunno—it’s no Spartacus, that’s for sure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

76. Daria (season 1)* (1997, cr. Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn)

I really expected to like this one. I always enjoyed Beavis and Butthead and always thought the sarcastic Daria was the best thing about the show. Her spinoff didn’t work for me at all, though—the jokes just seemed obvious and unfunny.

77. Tell Them You Love Me* (2024, dir. Nick August-Perna)

Documentary about a woman convicted of sexual abuse after she entered into a sexual relationship with a man she was treating with the now-discredited practice of “facilitated communication.” Seems like an important topic, but I couldn’t make it more than twenty minutes in. Pretty dull.

78. Black Sails (season 1)* (2014, cr. Jonathan E. Steinberg and Robert Levine)

What if Game of Thrones, but with pirates? That’s…that’s it. That’s all this is.

79. Hail Satan?* (2019, dir. Penny Lane)

A documentary on the religion parody group known as The Satanic Temple. I got half an hour in, realized I hadn’t learned anything, and moved on.

80. Fletch* (1985, dir. Michael Ritchie)

Chevy Chase stars as a hardboiled investigative journalist. It’s wild that anyone ever thought Chase was funny?

81. Descendants* (2015, dir. Kenny Ortega)

Children of Disney villains attempt a coup at a high school for children of Disney heroes. Thought this might be fun, since it was directed by High School Musical auteur Kenny Ortega, but I couldn’t make it more than a half-hour in. This movie is (obviously) everything everyone hates about Disney: it’s cynical, derivative pap that exists to extend a brand first and entertain never.

***

The end! These lists are so much work to put together, guys! Why do I keep doing this to myself??? Let me know in the comments!

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