Every month, a new bit of flash fic!
Get out of your head and into your body.
I have a friend whoās always saying that. I think what it means is, āStop worrying about things you canāt change and get some exerciseāāprobably good advice, but it can only get you so far, seeing as we all, eventually, get out of our bodies permanently. Manning the front desk for a large funeral home like this, I see them coming and going constantly, the bodies that people couldnāt quite stay inside of. Arrivals, departures, like an airport for corpses. They show up as empty as they leave.
Get out of your head and into your body.
Outside the rain is coming down in sheets, splattering out of the gutters, cascading onto the pavement below. People rush in in their black suits, black dresses, black umbrellas. (I always wonder if they specifically buy these black umbrellas just for funeralsāseems like a waste of money, but not compared to the rest of the funeral costs, I guess.) Itās the sort of day that makes it nearly impossible to get out of your head, and even harder to get into your body.
Get out of your head and into your body.
Woman comes to the front desk, asking me where sheās supposed to go. Blonde, reminds me of a girl I used to date in college. I tell her Iām not sureāin a place with a dozen chapels, itās hard to keep track of whoās going where. I ask her for the name of the deceased, and when she doesnāt seem to know, I ask her to give me some detailāman or woman, older or younger, something. Iām getting more confused, and I swear weāre five minutes into the conversation before I realize she hasnāt actually spoken a word aloud, and when I look up from my computer screen again sheās gone.
I donāt know why they always show up on the days like this, never on the sunny days. I guess because these are the days when youāre stuck in your head and can never be sure whether youāre in or out of your body.
I make a mental note to spend some time on the treadmill after my shift. š¹šš§ø
⬠In case you missed it: Election day, Bigfoot, weight loss, Twitter, and other uncontroversial things
Hit the subscribe button for free books!
Hey, thanks for reading! If youāre new to this newsletter, hereās how it works: Everyone who signs up to receive it in their email inbox gets a free digital copy of my award-winning debut novel, Ophelia, Alive: A Ghost Story! Anyone who becomes a paid subscriber gets even more:
All monthly paid subscribers ($5/month) will get a free digital copy of Ophelia, Alive and my award-winning nonfiction debut, Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem: Strange Stories from the Bible to Leave You Amused, Bemused, and (Hopefully) Informed.
Anyone who signs up for an annual subscription ($50/year) will receive both digital books, plus a signed paperback book of their choice!
Anyone who takes the plunge and becomes a founding member ($200/year or name-your-own price) will receive both digital books and both signed books!
PLUS: Everyone who signs up (free or paid) gets entered in a monthly drawing for a signed book! Why? Because I like you.
Just enter your email address below for a free book and a weekly reminder that I still exist:
Congrats to last monthās winners, phatpcv and rvsmith2! Iāll run the next drawing Dec. 1! š¹šš§ø